I've been Hit! I've been Hit!

HELLO DEAREST, DARLINGEST FAMILY IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!! So. I have been hit with the homesickness. HARDCORE! ha ha. but seriously. This week has been a trial by FIRE! and brought about rapid progress. I will go into that a little later though.... The plane ride over to Cincy was an adventure.... I got super motion sick! and then we had about an hour drive in bad weather/ traffic so we enjoyed some more sickness! ha ha! The assistant driving us let us ask him all the questions about Ohio-- This mission is the best in the world. We are the highest baptizing mission in the region. Our goal is to have 720 baptisms this year. Pres. Porter is a man of God. Briefly, here are the points in his pep talk that hit me the hardest. -the next 90 days would be miserable. -"the only one interested in what you want it Lucifer." (think about the Temple film.) Heavenly Father and Pres Porter are only interested in what we NEED. When I am more refined, I will begin to want what I need. - We must build faith like the ancients. -Mission goals are 1. more baptisms. 2. more family focused baptisms 3. strengthen families. (ALOT of broken families in our mission) -our mission broke records in January even though it was the coldest, shortest month yet.) I was super pumped. and then I got transferred and left my dearest Sister. Chavez. I did not realize what a vital role in my perseverance she was. My new comps name is Sister Murdoch- she's from Grace, Idaho. She is my complete opposite (has 4 brothers if that explains it a bit better ;) She has been out for 12 weeks. I was sent to Little Miami Ward- We have 3 sets of missionaries in ONE ward! crazy huh? and we were doubled in (whitewashed). The elders left the apartment a mess. Not much food, moldly veggies in the fridge and come to find out no bedding... We weren't able to buy food or bedding this week cause there was no P-day! I didn't have pillow, and the carpet smelled of pee. I handled all the change pretty well my first night on Tuesday but then I cracked. The tears came. My desire to be here fled. I wanted my family. Every little thing (I love this cardigan... my mom bought it for me.... I love her.... TEARS. or getting ready in a bathroom by myself.... missing all the sister getting in front of my mirror space... TEARS.) The hardest time was the mornings. I was at an ultimate low. Thursday morning as I was striving so hard to be strong getting ready, I couldn't hold it in anymore and tears flowed. I told Sis. Murdoch I had to go talk with God and I shut the bedroom door and sobbed. For a long time. I begged Father to help me. Just be with me. I begged. It took some time but I allowed myself to be comforted. I felt surrounded my his love, I felt my ancestors rallying around me (including G'ma Carolyn.) and somehow I got up off my knees and continued on. This week has been the hardest in my life. Heavenly Father has set out to prove me. He has sent me in an area that is still in developing stages and we didn't even know if we had any investigators. The area books were a mess so we were very confused and lost. HA HA! what a horrible picture I paint. It was BECAUSE my attitude wasn't where it needed to be. MY PERSPECTIVE wasn't to help others, it was focused on poor Ol' Mattie. After Thursday morning, things stared to change. I allowed my heart to be softened. I determined to love my companion, my area and the members and MIRACLES have been the result. There are always the highs and the lows of each day but I am happy. Through the power of the scriptures, prayer and the grace of God- I have been strengthened to meet the challenge Pres. Porter and HF has placed before me. Now that I have tried to adequately describe my low points, the high points will be all the sweeter ;) As I said, Thursday was kinda the turning point. My tears were not only tears of sadness and homesickness they were mingled with tears of the spirit! ha ha!! Saturday was a blessed day. This week has converted my heart to where I am VERY sensitive to the spirit. ---We attended a convert baptism on Saturday and the tears flowed as he was immersed in the cleansing waters and was brought out a new man. It reminded me why I am here. In Alma 26 it adequately described my feelings at that moment. If I were to bring save a few souls to Christ and redemption it would make EVERYTHING worth it. The tracting, the mockery, loss of 10 yrs of my life due to second hand smoke ;) ha ha!! it was a very purifying experiences but it gets better...... ----Sis. Murdoch and I felt impressed to ask for a priesthood blessing from the District Leaders after the baptism on Saturday. It was a climax of the week. I wasn't expecting any of Elder McKeckern's words to 'help' me but just the spirit of it if that makes sense.... but He is a man of GOD. I looked him in the eye and said again "I need to be healed and I know that you can do it with the power of God which you hold." He was very humbled as he placed his hands on my head and blessed me. His words were words of life to my spirit. Just briefly he said- "God loves me. Loves my willing heart. I am a choice daughter- prepared my entire life. I will be blessed with comfort when discouraged. I have covenanted in the pre-existence to be in this area. I am doing the right thing in being here. And my family will be blessed and watched over. (the tears flowed right then ;)" As I stood with tears in my eyes I shook his hand the hardest I could and thanked him. His eyes were wet with emotion and he reassured me again. I was healed. I know this gospel is a gospel of miracles. Miracles did not end with the crucifixtion of Christ. I can testify that this Gospel is the only church with the fullness- with that ESSENTIAL priesthood power and authority. I love you all. And when it came down to it- the one reason that kept me on a mission is the thought of making my family proud. KIA KAHA. Work hard. Remember what is important. The atonement of Christ is real and we can use it in every moment. I KNOW that Christ felt as I felt this week and he carried me through. HE is the only way to eternal life. He is my trusted counselor and friend. Till next week, Sister Watts